Bob Thomas Writes

Obituary

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend. His name was Common Sense. “Little Bit”, as he was known to his friends, had been with us for many, many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. It’s assumed that he was around during the pre-historic times, simply because civilization has survived!

He will be remembered as having cultivated such vaulted lessons as “Knowing when to come in out of the rain”, why “The early bird gets the worm” and that “Life isn’t always fair”.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies. We’ve all heard him say, “Don’t spend more than you earn”. He fostered reliable parenting strategies   with the simple admonition, “Adults, not kids, are in charge”.

His health began to deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.  Reports of a six-year old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live after prayer was outlawed in schools, the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, spilled it in her lap, sued and was awarded a lot of money. Most recently Common Sense ran from the room when asinine fat people decided to sue restaurants for ‘feeding them too much food’!

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his stepbrother, “My Rights”, and his ugly stepsister, “I’ma Whiner”. Not many attended his funeral because so few had ever known him, or realized his was gone.

His passing was evidenced by an outbreak of “A Complete lack of Common Sense”.

Author Unknown