Bob Thomas Writes

Every morning at7 a.m.he opened his eyes to the noise of a buzzing alarm clock. He would lie in bed and listened to it for a minute or two. . And then he would get up, walk across the room and turn it off. The clock had to be across the room or he would go back to sleep after he turned it off. He walked into the living room and swaddled himself in a tattered quilt and fell into his chair. It was a wonderful, supple, comfortable, luxurious feeling chair. He had bought it when times were good and   $2000.00 for a chair was not too extravagant. It was about the only thing he had left from the good life . . . when money wasn’t a problem . . . and he had someone to love.  The blanket was one that he had since he was a child. He didn’t know who made it, but he had suffered through measles, chicken pox , colds and other infirmities, real and imagined,  while wrapped  in that blanket.  It warmed his spirit.

   He ignited the first cigarette of the day and turned on the news . . . he channeled surfed for about 30 minutes until something interesting came on . . . and he smoked another cigarette…and another. When he was awake, about8 o’clock, he took a shower, brushed his teeth, dressed and left. It was a 45 second drive over to the convenience store. They served breakfast . . . a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich and a cup, or two, or three, of coffee . . . for two dollars and ten cents.  He read the paper while he ate and skipped over all of the politics, world news, and rape and murder stories. Not interested . . . it has no impact on him, so why bother reading it? He devours the comics…reads every word…it’s some sort of search for a smile or a laugh to start the day. He’s always preferred the comics to anything else in the paper. He doesn’t know why…it just seemed stupid to read about all of the trouble in the world and depress yourself for no reason at all…other than satisfying a voyeur-istic impulse that we all have hidden in our brains. After breakfast he goes to his store. He drives through town to see if anything has changed since last night . . . usually not. He goes in the store and straightens up a little bit…sweeps some days…turns on the computer, lights and fans. Adjust the thermostat down a little …he prefers it chilly. At10 a.m.he opens the door and puts out the “Open” sign. And waits. People walk the streets in a hurry . . . late…lost? Who knows…He sees them go into the other stores and wonders why? They aren’t selling anything as wonderful as he has in his store.  Only a few come into his store. It’s because he’s 60 feet from the sidewalk…to far to walk if they don’t  know what’s inside…they don’t want to waste any time looking at something they might not want…and they don’t want to make the effort to come and see what’s here….60 feet….too far…plus a flight of steps…!

A few customers come in during the morning hours…some buy…most just look and compliment him…”it’s a wonderful store…beautiful stuff….all original art and craft….I wish I had known”……”if you had know what would  you have done differently ?”…he thinks. Lately, the words have come out of his mouth! And the customers can’t answer…it makes them uncomfortable…they leave.

At about1:30he closes for lunch…hamburger and French fries…diet Pepsi. He reads the paper again…generally the same one as this mornings…occasionally someone leaves a different paper on their table and he gets that…”New news!” The restaurant is half full of gray heads playing bingo…it must be Tuesday. The restaurant gives prizes to the Senior Citizen bingo players to seduce them into coming later to eat their…BINGO! a free diet coke. BINGO! Fries…BINGO! Ham sandwich…lunch or dinner. It’s better for you than “cat food”…sorry; we don’t take food stamps… Guess it’ll be cat food for dinner after all.

After lunch he goes to the post office to check his mail…he gets bills…she get catalogs, flyers, brochures, “Spiritual Healing Seminar” invitations. Occasionally he gets a tool catalog. He used to get Readers Digest but had to cancel it when the money ran low. He stops by one of the other shops…visits for a while…they mildly argue…”I made less money than you did last week!””No you didn’t…I had a refund!”  ….Business is bad…hurricanes all summer…tourist went to the Olympics or the mountains…somewhere else. Two hurricanes hit us…everybody left town….two others passed by hundreds of miles out to sea…everybody left town again! HEY! it missed us ! Come back!

After visiting for a few minutes he goes back to work. People are waiting for him at the front door…good.  He thinks he has discovered some sort of secret marketing technique…Make them wait for an hour and they will think business is so good that He doesn’t need them…”If it’s that good, we need to see what’s in there !…Let’s wait”.

For about an hour after lunch the store is full of shoppers. It will be the busiest time of the day and most of the sales are made in that hour. If any sales are made at all.

The crowd dwindles byfour o’clock….disappears byfive o’clock. He closes the shop and tries to decide where he will eat dinner…while he is making the decision he is driving straight towards the same place he had breakfast this morning. Dinner…a club sandwich, diet Pepsi and maybe a candy bar. Unless his weight is bothering him today…he thinks he might be getting close to 300 pounds! Too fat! Read the afternoon papers or a magazine….or the real estate catalog. He thinks he’ll be able to afford a quarter of a million dollar house soon! Maybe he should get a new car first…maybe he should get his head examined! He is not where he thought he would be at this point in his life…53 years old, living in a house trailer, eating junk food and driving a 20 year old truck….and alone.

Life sucks…some days.

He has berated himself for hours on end about the condition his life is in…Why did she leave me? Look around fool, why would she stay? He knows no answers. . .

After “dinner” he drives around for awhile. . .down to the waters edge to watch the boats making the New York to Florida migration. . .winter is coming. . .over to the Island to walk on the beach for a few minutes… why didn’t He  do this before she left ?…back to his trailer. . . feed the stray cats on the deck. . .they meet him at the gate every afternoon now…they too want to be loved, but are too afraid to risk it…he sneaks a touch while they are eating…hunger keeps them from running away…they can tolerate anything in order to keep from dying of starvation!…

He watches the stars, moon, wind, cats, people and anything else he can see from his deck for a few minutes…it’s almost8 o’clock.

Inside he straightens his bed…digs out his dirty clothes and does the laundry . . . cleans up the miscellaneous dishes, spoons and glasses left from last nights eating binge! He’s not hungry…never hungry…but, he eats while he watches the tube…habit…cheese, peanuts, chips, O.J., sandwiches…anything.

The tube has been on since he walked in…can’t stand silence…he falls into his chair and channel surfs…sometimes he sits in her chair…when he misses her real bad…she’s been gone for months now…The animals are with her, so he takes the towel and blanket off of her foot stool and puts them away…no more pet dirt to worry about…no cat hair…no foot prints…no more kisses…no purring…no tricks…no begging…no love.