Bob Thomas Writes

As I blindly stumble from one day to the next, I find that I understand less and less of, and about, this generation. “This Generation” being the one that is currently in power and commanding the worlds attention.

They seem to be obsessed with punching holes in their miscellaneous body parts and sticking gaudy . . . and cheap . . .  jewelry in them! The majority of them seem to like ears and noses for this sort of activity, but there is the occasional masochist that feels compelled to gouge a hole through their tongue and put something that looks like a dumbbell through it! I would imagine that the noise created just by eating a piece of hard candy would be enough to drive them crazy, but they seem to like it. The ones who want everyone to see the horrendous damage they’ve done to their tongue are the ones who make me crazy. I initially want to tell them that no one says, “Hi” and runs their tongue out to the end of the roller! They can’t say “Yes” or “No” by just mumbling it out of the corner of their mouth like every other teen-ager in the world. They have to enunciate and open their mouth wide enough to park a tennis ball in it! All the while rattling that damn dumbbell against their teeth, and making a noise like a drunken woodpecker trying to play The Colonel Bogie March on a tin can! On top of everything else, I can’t help but notice the impression in their shirt of nipple rings and of course, the obligatory belly button ring! I dare not even think of the ‘other’ possibilities for punctures with chains and bells hanging out of them!