Bob Thomas Writes

A Thought. . .

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the king’s horses and all the King’s men,

Couldn’t put Humpty together again.

O.K., let’s look at this.

First, who in the hell thought a horse could put an egg together?

And especially ALL the King’s horses! If one couldn’t do it, what made them think dozens, or hundreds or thousands of horses could do it!

Consider – if I wanted to re-assemble an egg I would call on …oh, I don’t know… and animal with FINGERS! Maybe a Monkey or Chimp.  A horse is quite obviously designed to smash eggs if anything. Got an egg you want fixed? Not a horses job. Want it smashed? Call a horse!

And why, if ALL the King’s men were there, why call a horse?  Are the King’s men really that stupid? More stupid than a horse at rebuilding eggs! Oh come on! Surely one of them could have made a feeble attempt before just saying “Screw it! Let the King put his own egg back together!”

On top of everything else, WHO tries to put eggs back together? I mean, even if you could re-assemble the shell, how the heck do you get the ‘guts’ back inside of it? Do you leave a little hole and try to blow a mouth full of scrambled eggs back into the hole? Or do you assemble ½ of the egg, fill it with the scrambled egg, and stick on the top?

And finally, Mr. & Mrs. Dumpty should have their asses kicked for naming a kid, and I would like to point out here that he would be an obviously “ less than popular”  kid, Humpty!

And finally, what a waste of food! Can you imagine how many starving Ethiopians you could feed with one good Humpty?

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. . . .  What a dumb ass. How did he get up there in the first place?