Bob Thomas Writes

The Plan

Did you have a plan?
When you were 16 years old, did you know, just absolutely know, what your life was going to be like? Were you going to be a Doctor, Lawyer, Indian Chief?
Were you going to have a home, spouse, kids, two cars, boat, summer place and all the other amenities of a successful life?
Me Too.
When I was 16 years old, and reeking of English Leather After Shave lotion, I knew that I was going to marry my high school sweetheart right after college. We were going to be the ‘Ozzie and Harriet’ of our generation. Our kids would be perfect. Our house would be perfect. The grass would never grow, but if it did I would mow it in my cordovan penny loafers while wearing my sweater vest and Chino pants. I wouldn’t sweat. I would stop and talk to my ‘funny’ neighbor and loan him my garden tools. . . that he never returned. My wife would bring me a glass of iced tea and encourage me to ‘take a break’ because I was working too hard.

She would wear a straw hat and tend to her flowers. All while wearing her best summer frock and sandals. Her make-up would always be perfect, but I would never see her put it on. . . or without it. Her hair would always be perfect, but never in rollers. When I awoke in the morning she would have breakfast ready and it would be my job to “get the kids up”. They would always be dressed and waiting for my call.
Our kids, a boy and a girl, would be Class President, head cheerleader, captain of the football team, valedictorian, track stars, home coming queen and anything else they wanted to be. Both would go off to college, get married, have our grand children and have lives that were cookie cutter images of their parents.
Yeah. Sure thing.
As it turns out, my girl friend went away to college and I went to serve in the Air Force.
Four years later I was married to another lady, had a Son and had been to the far corners of the world. . . several times. I had been shot at once in Vietnam, so that gave me a ‘war story’ to tell for the rest of my life! (However, since I moved to “Marine Country” I don’t tell it as often for fear of some grizzled Gunny Sergeant humiliating me by saying, “Shot AT! Why hell, you ain’t never been SHOT ?)
My high school sweetheart married another and I never saw her again. I heard that she died of cancer in her 40’s. I belatedly mourned her passing and the lost perfect life we had imagined so many years before. I never questioned whether she may have had the perfect life. I hope so.

I have since been married, and divorced, twice. Lived in three different states, had three ‘careers’ in major corporations and owned two businesses. I’ve lived in eight houses, four with and four without wives, owned four of them and rented four. I’ve owned 3000 sq. ft. brick and mortar homes and 800 sq ft mobile homes. I’ve owned three cars, two cars and one car. I’ve had the boat. I’ve mowed the lawn, while sweating like a pig and had to shout for someone to bring me “a damned drink of water” before I died! My wives hated yard work, (one even whined the one and only time she dug up dandelions!) never planted a flower in their lives and both wore comfortable old clothes around the house. . . just like me. Neither of them liked make-up and seldom wore any. One was a great cook and the other used the smoke alarm as a cooking timer! Both were uniquely wonderful women in their own way. One was a gift to me. . . the other was apparently punishment for some undisclosed sin I had committed! Both of them made my life richer.

As for the two perfect kids. . . well, as far as I know I don’t have a girl. But I do have a Son. He turned out to be a good kid. And eventually a good man. He is successful and happy. That’s about all I could wish for. I would sing his praises, but being a “good man” is praise enough. I am proud of him.

I’m no longer reek of English Leather. It’s Old Spice now. . .just like my Dad and his Dad! I’m currently wife-less and will probably stay that way. I just don’t have the energy to “go through the rituals” again! My business is moderately successful. I have a few good friends, and a few ‘very good’ friends, among them my ex-wife #2. And I enjoy life as it comes to me.
At some point a few years ago I guess realized that I wasn’t going to be “King of the World”, and settled for “regular guy” status.
My plan now? Well, as I entered my 60’s I found that planning a life is difficult, and it’s a little late to start now. So I just see what the days will bring and try to survive and enjoy them. I guess my plan is to just make it through until tomorrow!

It seems to be working. . . so far.